Why You Handle Money the Way You Do: Understanding Your Money Story (and How to Change It)
We all carry a money story.
Some of us learned it around the kitchen table as kids, listening to parents talk (or argue) about bills. Others absorbed it quietly—through the way we watched adults shop, save, or stress.
Maybe you grew up hearing, “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
Or maybe it was, “As long as the bills are paid, don’t ask questions.”
Perhaps money was never talked about at all, which left its own kind of silence.
Whatever your experience, those early lessons became part of your financial DNA—shaping how you spend, save, and even how you feel about money today.
Of course, our relationship with money is also shaped by many other factors—mental and emotional health, lived experiences, partners, trauma, and culture—but the early patterns we absorbed in childhood often become the lens through which we respond to all of those later influences.
The Weight of Old Stories
Here’s the thing: not every money story we inherit serves us well.
- If you were raised in scarcity, you may find yourself clinging tightly to every dollar, even when you could safely enjoy more freedom.
- If money always felt out of reach, you might believe you’ll “never be good with it,” no matter how hard you try.
- If money was tied to shame or conflict, talking about it might bring a pit to your stomach—even in safe, healthy conversations.
These old stories can quietly run the show until we choose to notice... and rewrite them.
Rewriting the Script
Healing your money story doesn’t mean erasing your past. It means honoring it, learning from it, and choosing a new narrative for the future.
- Instead of, “I’ll never have enough,” you can write, “I’m building enough for the life I want.”
- Instead of, “I’m just bad with money,” you can write, “I’m learning new skills every day.”
- Instead of silence, you can choose openness—sharing conversations about money with family, friends, or trusted advisors.
The act of reframing shifts money from something that controls you to something you actively shape.
A Small Step to Try This Week
Here’s an exercise to start rewriting your money story:
- Reflect: Write down your earliest money memory. What feeling comes with it: fear, pride, confusion, joy?
- Identify: Ask yourself, How does this still influence the way I make financial choices today?
- Rewrite: Create a new money mantra that aligns with the life you want to live. For example:
- “I can create security for myself."
- “I am capable of making good money decisions.”
- “Money is a tool I use—not a measure of my worth.”
Keep your mantra somewhere you’ll see it often—on your mirror, your phone lock screen, or in your wallet.
Choosing a New Legacy
The most powerful part of rewriting your money story? You don’t just change your own future; you change the story for everyone who comes after you.
Children, family, and even your community pick up on the stories you model. By healing yours, you create a ripple effect of confidence, openness, and wellness.
Because at the end of the day, financial wellness isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present, aware, and willing to turn the page.
→ Your turn: Take 10 minutes this week to write down your earliest money memory and how it shaped you. Then, choose one sentence—a new story—that you want to carry forward.